Popular and Being Popular
11 years ago
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Ferry Ride
Last Saturday afternoon I was going to Boston, Massachusetts. Right then I was wondering about it. My mom said, " To go to Boston we will take a ferry." WOW, a ferry! "What's a ferry?" I asked. "A ferry is a boat like a bus," my mom explained. So my sister, Zoe, my Mom, my grandma and my cousin and myself all went to get tickets. The grown ups decided to sit on top because my grandma didn't want to get nauseous and throw up. The ferry went slow and as it got further away from Cape Cod the faster it went. When it was really fast it was as fast as a bird hovering above the ferry. Soon my sister and I were sitting on our short little knees (especially Zoe). The gusty, cold wind blew our brown hair behind our round heads. "Jordyn!Jordyn! Open your mouth towards the wind," hailed Zoe. I could not hear her because the wind was so strong.I did what my crazy, little sister told me to do and sure enough the inside of my mouth was a cold as an ice cube.BRRRRRRRR! Very cold.
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ReplyDeleteWow Jordyn,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great piece of writing. I love this part, "When it was really fast it was as fast as a bird hovering above the ferry. Soon my sister and I were sitting on our short little knees (especially Zoe). The gusty, cold wind blew our brown hair behind our round heads. "Jordyn!Jordyn! Open your mouth towards the wind," hailed Zoe." It makes such a clear picture in my head of you, Zoe, the bird, the boat and the wind.
One reminder: when you include yourself in a list of people, think about how you would write the sentence if you were in it alone. In your entry it would be, "I went to get tickets," so you keep the "I," and add the other people. It should be, "So my sister Zoe, my Mom, my grandma, my cousin, and I all went to get tickets."
Ms. Waldman